This has come to my attention:

Side Headline. Shelak is Gay

To the surprise of many, Shelak came out of the closet saying his yellow shirt and tight jeans

were no casual mistake. It's not Minka who is the first to come out of the closet it is Shelak.

Shelak wrote>>

Shocked......Shocked and appalled I am at this falsehood which has been spread about my person. I have no idea where an upstanding and well respected paper such as yours could come up with such a blatent fabrication. I demand that the editor of this paper be summarily fired (actually, since I am the one who has been editing for you so for.....forget about it). I can attest right here and now that I am not gay. Although, however, I cannot vouch at all for the status of Minka. I demand that you print an immediate retraction or I will have you brought up on charges of slander. Furthermore, YOUR MAMA'S SO LARGE....SHE PLAYS HOPSCOTCH LIKE THIS......ALABAMA, NEW YORK, MICHIGAN, IDAHO.....

Sincerely,

Mike Shelak

I do not know how this happened....it could be because he gave me the idea of writing something wrong and then sending out a retractions so naturally i used his idea against him--he-he.

THE BAbbLER