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1. First thing you wash in the shower?
First I wash out that image I have of you. Just the thought of all those nasty
things you do with that tongue of yours. Secondly, I wash myself in the
shower. Of course I do, I’m not a silly goose. Finally, if there’s time, I
wash whoever else is in there with me. Yeah I’m a selfish bastard.
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Black like your heart, a ghost buster’s hoodie!! Don’t be jealous you can
borrow it. We’re BFFs right?
3. Do you like coffee?
No sugar, no cream, black like your soul in a colorful cup for juxtaposition
sake.
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Overdosed on bbq sauce, tired from late night chatting on aim 2 nights in a
row. Damn you California and your lack of
eastern time zone!
6. What’s the last letter of your crush’s name?
‘R’ as in casebeeR who I CRUSHed in the last play in a madden football game on
the 360. (…we won’t talk about the score, it’s the last play that counts,
that’s why they end the game after it!)
7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?’
on even number days I say “aim”, on odd number days “aim”. People who say
a-i-m probably wet their bed.
8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having.
I was stuck on this bus with a lady driver who barely looked like she was
over the age of twelve and couldn’t make a simple turn. I know she probably
started on the short bus, but if it’s her JOB to drive a bus she should be
able to make a little turn. Don’t you think? Haha-jk [that was a mockery of
the dream answer of the person who sent me this survey]
MY REAL ANSWER:
I dreamt that I met my fairy god mother, and yeah she was a g-milf. She asked
me if I wanted to be a great lover, or have a good memory…and then I can’t
remember what I said….Did I ever tell you about the dream I had where I met
my fairy god mother.
10. What are you craving?
Hershey's makes millions of Kisses each day. I'm just asking for one.
11. Do you floss?
Does eating pop rocks before you sleep count? Damnit, it should.
12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Sex. Did I get it right? Or is the answer cabbage patch kids? Which are made
from mommy and daddy patch adults by having sex, so yeah, I got it right.
15. Would you dance to the taco song?
The taco song sucks, a good song to dance to is this http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php
Llama, Llama DUCK!
16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
I would count to five hundred and I would count five hundred more, just to be
the man who counted to a 1000 and fell down at your door…
17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Yes I bite!!, cuz you know if the ice cream could bite me it wouldn’t,
because I just have that much authority!
18. Do you use smileys?
I love smileys more than an anorexic hates food but I don’t use them nearly
often Lenough
19. How many bedrooms are in your house?
It’s a tiny studio but hey! I'm redecorating my room, and I think you'd look
wonderful in my bed.
20. Have you ever met a celebrity?
My friend’s older sister wrote a book http://www.shaunaseliy.com/
I met and told my friend to fall in love with Michael Kenton’s niece, but he
disobeyed.
My friend Alicia Morrissey is a jazz singer in New york and will be famous
one day, until then no.
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
When artistically spread. Don’t you think you can make cottage cheese sexy?
22. What’s the last song you had stuck in your head?
Actually my friend’s band Tremmor’s myspace song is stuck in my head. Which
is hard to explain to people when they’re like what are you singing…I cant
find a reason why I should tame this anymore!...
http://www.myspace.com/tremormusic
23. How many countries have you visited?
Did a tour of the embassies in DC so technically I was in a hell of lot of
countries (I love loop holes)
24. Are your parents strict?
Maybe in hindi, but I don’t understand that so I just say “I assume you’re
telling me to have fun, bye…” I’m pretty sure that’s the birthright of the
first born son in the family in their culture.
25. Would you go sky diving?
My ears wouldn’t pop for the longest time when I fell out of heaven so I
wouldn’t want to re-experience that again. I think I’d rather go in a glider
or zipcord line or to space.
26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Of course we’d go OUT to eat, I don’t think he’d be a good enough cook to eat
in. (…da d a ching!)
27. Would you throw potatoes at him?
Only if it could ricochet into chenney so pulosi would temporarily be
president. Chick presidents are so hot. If you were president, I’d so intern.
(void if you are reading this and possess 21 digits)
28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
if you put a spark to the dragons on my wall they breath fire!
30. Do you rent movies often?
From my bestfriend’s collection, but the late fees are insane. I have to
pretend his wife isn’t insane when she says she’s fat and deal with her You
Stole Chocolat delusional fantasies. Someone needs to buy that movie for her.
31. Who sits in front of you in your math class?
The cute girl with the right answers, hopefully. Then I could tell her that
“I wish I were a derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.” [yeah, if
u expected the jokes to get better as the survey went along u picked the
wrong person’s to read]
34. Can you count backwards from 74?
What do I get if I can? Please please PLEASE let it be my weight in pez.
35. Where are you going to be Saturday night?
Hopefully with Bryn cuz I miss her.
36. Brown or white eggs?
Why it gotta be a brown or white eggs…why can’t a brother have an egg? I like
egg beaters.
37. Like rap music?
Some peps call me p-chewy
Which is screwy
Because the P is silent
And I’m just (p)chewy
I’m bringing you a new kind of rap,
More romantic than that other kind of crap.
Where I can say I’ve fallen head over heels for you,
But don’t worry, I know some other positions too…
(You might not like it, but I’m sure the voices in your head are getting
giggy with it)
38. Ever taken a train?
To dirty jersey…we don’t like to speak of that hardship.
39. Experienced the twin towers falling in New York?
Everyone knows the holocaust never happened and neither did the twin towers
falling…Tragic, but USA still the best place to be since atlantis disappeared.
41. What day of the week is it?
wednesday
42. What was your Lunch?
Shrimp po wrap
43 What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
His wife, ha! I went there.
45. Ever have cream puffs?
No but bryn, my best friend’s wife, has, ha! I went there again.
46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
hmm nope, but best friend’s cousin’s sister who is also his cousin has?
47. What was the last question you asked?
Girl asked me for a favor and naturally I said, I love it when you beg, but
what’s in it for me?
48. What was the last cd you bought?
The cure bloodflowers (surprised anyone?)
49. Boys or girls?
woman. hahahh, girls.
50. What is your bus number for school?
10
51. Is your hair curly?
In some places…
52. Last time you cried?
When the Steelers lost the superbowl.
53. Ever walked into a wall?
One of the rare times I was in the hospital I was chasing my cousin who I
call Kitty and she moved out of the way but the wall didn’t. Granted I didn’t
cry, she did when she saw the blood gushing out of my skull which brought my
parents in and made me run away from them thinking they were mad at me.
Eventually the blood made me woossy and I was captured and dragged to the
emergency room where I got 7 stitches in the skull, damn that wall and its
ability to make my bald head not perfect.
55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?
bought the only 2 pair of jeans I owe from there (freaky)
57. Favorite time of the year?
Fall=football but spring=sun dresses
59. Are you a generally happy person?
No, I don’t understand happiness, I’m always thriving to do better, like the
perfect blue sky or a sweet girl’s sigh or a shot of tequilia with lime.
61. The next person you’ll hold hands with… will it mean anything?
Probably that I’m drunk and cant cross the street alone. Remember kids don’t
look both ways anymore, you’re supposed to STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN.
62. Do you sleep with the TV on?
I can sleep anywhere and through anything so the tv is on if I forget to turn
it off.
64. Do you think you’re old?
Not as old as I’ll be tomorrow…or the next day.
65. Are you afraid of the dark?
I was until I had an alien encounter in the basement of my parents house. Too
lazy to get into it, ask me if u want to know more…
66. Do you like your life right now?
yes
67. When’s the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
2 weeks ago.
69. Do you have good vision?
I wish I was cross-eyed, babe, so I could see you twice. Instead, I’m the
only one in my family that doesn’t have horrible vision. Wonder if the
postman wears spectacles…hmmm..(and I wonder if you think I’m fruity for
saying the word spectacles instead of glasses)
70. Can you hula hoop?
Better than you, damn right I hula hoop better than u. I few friendly Hooters
girls taught me.
71. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Don’t believe in cheating. If someone hooks up with someone else then there’s
a flaw in our relationship and its over, but I have no hard feelings. It’s
lying if that occurred that would disappoint me.
72. Do you have a job?
Naw, but I do get paid a lot of money pretending I do.
74. What are you wearing?
a tank top, and lt blue shorts with duckies on the butt that say bottoms up!
75. Would you ever have a living funeral?
Yes, and I’d like to come back from the dead during my normal funeral too as
a zombie ninja.
76. Have you ever crawled through a window?
ahahhahaha how do you think me and my friends got in and out of my old place?
It got to the point I thought of making teeshirts that said, I’ve gone
through pchewy’s window. Now I live in a skyscraper so that would be a little
more dangerous.
77. Can you handle the truth?
I’d be surprised if you could shock me. I dare u to try.
78. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Stock in pepsi, which is odd cuz I prefer to drink diet coke.
79. How often do you talk on the phone?
Nobody likes talking to me on the phone…some say I babble.
80. Are you in a relationship?
I’m in lots of relationship though I just ended a long term off an on
one…with this guy Tom, who was my friend for a long time but we never hung out
since he became a myspace billionaire.
81. Do you hate more than 3 people?
Um there’s 8 on my myspace list. Oh those were supposed to be friends, my
bad.
where is 82?
Stepped out for a bit for a smooth rich smoke because cigarettes makes you
thin and kewl, just like sarcasm makes you a jerk.
83. Are you sarcastic?
hahaha how freaky is that?
84. Have you ever slapped someone?
It was part of the dance routine, I didn’t chorographic it. The music made me
do it!
85. Do looks matter?
No, love is a mindfuck, when you’re in it they’ll look amazing. How else do
you explain your ugly neighbor who have kids?
86. Do you use chap stick?
DAMN YOU ALL, smearing oil your faces, you’re all addicts, it’s not coffee,
cookies, or caffeine that’s the silent addiction, it’s chap stick. If you’re
feeling a little dry, that’s god telling you to make out more.
87. Are you too forgiving?
No, but it’s hard to piss me off.
88. Do you own something from Hot Topic?
A ghost buster’s hoodie!
89. Do you own a gun?
I now have anthony’s old bbgun, which is ironic considering what happened
when I had my first bbgun…no-so-suprisingly nobody trusts me with a real one.
90. Have you made a prank phone call?
Yeah, my favorite was calling 867-5309 and asking for Jennifer. They were
like there’s no Jennifer here I think you have the wrong number. I was like,
there’s no Jenny and then sang the song! They since discontinued the number
in state college.
91. Have you ever been in a castle?
Used to frequent sand castle to play beach volleyball.
92. Do you like your hair? It grows too fast and takes too long to dye it and
jazz it up. Wish my friend matt’s sister the hair dresser lived closer.
93. Do you like yourself?
Not nearly as much as you
94. Are you closer to your mother or father?
Mom, she’s been visiting for the last 2 weeks. My dad’s in china for work,
that’s not close at all.
95. Do you chat on AIM often?
No computers separate us from what’s really important in live, hugging trees.
96. When was the last time you did chat on aim?
Never did the group thing…always wanted to …but thought I’d have to get a
whole new set of group iming friends and some valour sheets and…
97. Do you want to meet anyone?
My evil twin, so I can destroy him. (no quips about me being the evil one)
98. Whats the closest thing to you thats red?
The bull’s eye on my dart board. No I’m not any good, you want to play
cricket? Strip for ever number I close out….
99. Does your crush/boyfriend comment your myspace?
99 questions but who’s my favorite bitch ain’t one
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