Ralf: (in a comical broken Brooklyn accent, Ralf asks) Ya lika da cookie?

Ashley: (she playfully nibbles, leaving the creamy smiley face intack, and then returns with a similar Broncs accent.) Ya I lika da cookie.

Ralf: Then why don't you eat the cream? Da cream iz goood, no??

Ashley: Of course, silly, that's the best part. I save it until the end.

Ralf: Wow, how are we friends? We're such opposites. You save the best for last, and I say you never know when you're going to die, eat your dessert now. You probably read books straight through too.

Ashley: As opposed to reading the end first? Do you actually do that?

Ralf: Ya out loud because it seems to piss people off.

Ashley: You're such a jerk. I'd slice your throat with a bookmark if you ever did that to me. It ruins the book.

Ralf: Not the way I see it. See you read for the suspense; see what happens next. But I'm here to analyze; why did this ending occur. Plus a good ending gives me motivation to read and not many things motivate me.

Ashley: (flirtatiously licking the cream.) I can motivate you. (Ashley laughs at her naughty self and doesn't expect the eye-opening response that she evokes. Shyly she turns down and mumbles) This cookie is so good. You're a weirdo for not liking it.

Ralf: Well you know, there's something unsettling about cookies...

Ashley: (anxiety-ridden,) they're not going to make me sick, are they?

Ralf: Not that kind of unsettling. I was thinking though. You know that poem that asks the question "What are children made of?" 'Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what girls are made of...."

Ashley: Ya, (she smirks) and boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails.

Ralf: Yes that's the one. Don't you see anything wrong with it?

Ashley: Not really. I'm a goddess; guys are icky-I totally agree. What's wrong?

Ralf: Well if girls are made of sugar and spice, and cookies are made of sugar and spice, why don't they call it a gingerbread girl instead of gingerbread man?

Ashley: I don't know Ralf. It's a messed up, sexist world we live in.

Ralf: I figured as much.

Ashley: (Down to the luscious cream, Ashley relishes in the bite, and suddenly, a dolly, sleepy sensation overcomes her.) I feel weird Ralf....

Ask brave Ralf to perform the Heimlich maneuver on you-532.

Go to the water fountain-812.