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PCHEWYISM:

Founded by Anshu Gupta 

History

PCHEWYISM (commonly pronounced Chewyism in English for the P is silent) was founded in 1994 BE in the state of Watermeets (modern day Pittsburgh). The founder was born in 1978 as Anshu Gupta ( Hindi meaning "solar" or "radiant") and he lived during the Carter, Regan, Bush, and Clinton dynasty, in an era known for its moral laxity. Later in life, he wandered through many states along the eastern coast of America, giving advice to their rulers and subjects. He accumulated a small band of students during this time, but lost many of them when he expressed his "Higher Standards than God" belief and later pronounced himself GOD.  Later, he re-gained a smaller sect through his literary works and workshops on self improvement.  Finally, Anshu broke away from his own religious activities to explore other popular religions of the time, bouncing from one group to another until finally merging  many of their beliefs into his own during an awaking where he met a sage, and from this experience he created modern PCHEWYISM.  Anshu Gupta is currently believed to still be alive as works about his philosophy are still surfacing but he is now known as Chewy to his friends and as THE BAbbLER in his writings.  He has been sited sporadically at special events, from weddings, funerals, and dancing parties, but his common whereabouts are unknown for he is in hiding somewhere do to his radical beliefs and overbearing popularity.

His writings deal primarily with social human relationships, ethics, humor, and love, and the proper exercise of power in relationships with people and their environment.

In Pennsylvania, and some other areas in North Eastern USA, the social ethics and moral teachings of PCHEWYISM are blended with the Taoist communion with nature and Buddhist concepts of life, to form a set of complementary, peacefully co-existent and ecumenical religions.  Occasionally his words have been twisted, and various cults have been founded on his behalf, but he denounces them all.

There are approximately two and a half PCHEWYISM followers in the world, according to its founder, but many on the path.  The actual number of people who have PCHEWYISTIC beliefs are unknown and figures have been well disputed and inconsistent. 

Beliefs:

CLASIC PCHEWYISM followers believed in:

  • Ha-Ha: includes ritual, propriety, word play, etiquette, etc. used to communicate and evoke laugher to ease stressful situations
  • He-He: a universal love for honestly, purity, and playfulness in relations to all creatures
  • Ho-Ho: a pursuit for truth, a drive to compensate for ones own inabilities, and the actual sexual desires of man and woman
  • Mu-ha-ha-ha: cohesion, manipulation, and ways to fools others and self
  • PForever:  lasting for eternity or until it starts feeling like an eternity.  The belief that things that change in the future do not change their reality in the past
  • PCrush:  desiring someone you know vaguely, probably from a class, work, or you see passing by on a regular basis. You may or may not know this person's name, but the key thing is that you do not know much about them.
  • Pinfatuation:  strongly desiring someone you know personally, who also knows you, but does not desire you. Synonymous with unrequited love.
  • Ptruth:  honesty and trustworthiness which derives from intentions and temporal knowledge rather than the actual outcome of events or facts as held true by the norm.
  • PLove: quoted as saying "Love is forever, or at least until it starts feeling like forever", Chewy describes love as an emotion, like other emotions that may come and go, and is caused by an extended period of like.  He stresses how love can and will change and how power struggles are often the cause of such changes, either good or bad
  • PLust: desiring someone romantically due to their physical attributes or your personal horneyness
  • PDate:  a date is when you are with a person that you like romantically and likes you romantically, and you are both conscious of that fact, and during the time spent together this knowledge is exchanged along with a kiss.
  • Chaung: loyalty to the friends, teachers, and Anshu, etc.
  • PIronic:  (see definition of PIronic)

**HIGHER THAN GOD:  This theory caused for the first fall in support of Anshu.  It was a theory that all girls who would not date him had higher standards than god.  The proof went as follows and is based on Christian's belief in God's universal love, much corrupted.)

Q: Do you believe in god?

A: Yes, of course.

Q:  Do you believe he, she, it, whatever is mostly good or mostly bad?

A:  All good, Anshu.

Q:  Does GOD love everyone?

A:  With all his heart!

Q:  Does GOD even love me?

A:  Don't say things like that!!  Of course God loves you.

Q:  (Slowly moving to caress subject) Do you love me?

A:  Um, well....sorry, but no.  I don't have those feelings for you.

A:  Well than, you have HIGHER STANDARDS THAN GOD!

MODERN CHEWYISM followers believed in:

  • Amina: Amina is a girl who Anshu has charged with being the greatest sage living on Earth today, for she is never wrong.  He believes absolutes like this are rare but possible, and he describes the characteristic of the Sage, includes misnomers about sages in one of many of his works "Your not the boss Of Me Now".
  • PAura: An invisible colour that surrounds an person, expressing their feelings and life force.
  • PLove: Chewy redefined love as desiring someone whom also desires you, and you both think this feeling will last forever.  His metaphors and talks of love are numerous.  Once, quote as saying love is a timeless, inescapable trap, "I don't mean to, but she pops up everywhere; I swear, I try to run away but just end up finding her around the corner.  It's like she's running too, and we just have the same running style. In reality, in my dreams, and when I think of times before I even knew her, I thought we would be friends back then too, always.  It's always been love, so much love, I could disguises it as anything else, so far away, yet so simple, so glassy and pretty is love."
  • PInter-beauty: The belief that love arises from the inside but is always expressed outwardly through great  intentions
  • PRespect:  Respect is honoring someone as a human being, not based on their actions or relationship to you, but  based on their intentions attempt to teach you.

Practices:

NA at this time....One of Chewy's followers as agreed to replace my explanation with a more precise one.  We're awaiting that with much anticipation.

Schools of CHEWYISM 

There are four schools: Green, Black, Blue, and Hot Pink with sacred texts associated with them.

Sacred Texts

These were assembled by The Collectori (1994-2000 CE) during the Clinton dynasty. They include:

  • The PChewyism or Four Books:
    • The Green the Analects of Playfulness
    • The Black or the Songs of Neptune
    • The Blue or the Great Journey of Self Discovery and Cheesecake
    • The Hot Pink the writings of Power IN Kids
  • The Stories
  • The Song
    • Jingling Eyes--collection
    • Jungle Beast--collection
    • Higher up than heaven--collection
    • Wish List--collection

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